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The Intersection of Time, Fear and Energy
On the front page of my web site you will find the question, “Are you ready to take back control of your time?”. I ask this question first, because it is the feeling that you have when you are overwhelmed with too many choices and too many distractions in your business or personal life. You feel that you no longer have control of your time. You feel as if someone (or maybe the whole world) has conspired to steal your focus and your productive time from you. You want to take back control of your time, but what exactly is it that stops you from taking the first steps? If you are like most people, the underlying problem is fear. Fear of admitting your weaknesses, fear of failure, fear of what success might bring, fear of letting yourself or others down, fear of standing up to deliver your message to others and of course, fear of change. Why is it that we let an emotion stand in our way so often?
The problem with fear, is that it can and will consume all the energy that comes into your body and mind if you try to ignore it. Conversely, fear can grow exponentially if you decide to get caught up in the emotion and continually feed it. It’s almost as if there is a bear chasing you and you think that feeding it will satisfy it enough to leave you alone. The thing is, the bear now knows where its food source is and charges even harder until it eats all the energy that you would otherwise use to make the changes required for your success. If you become paralyzed by fear, it will have beaten you. Your only rational choice that allows you to move forward with power, is to face your fears and doubts and overcome them. Otherwise, any energy that comes your way will be squandered.
There is a key moment where time and fear and energy meet, and the result is the explosive annihilation of your opportunity for success. We want to keep the time and energy, so let’s get rid of the fear!
I need your permission now to take you on a journey. I am going to hold a container of safe space around you as you sit reading this chapter and ask you to trust me and yourself for a few moments while I reveal a secret that will force you to think differently about time and fear. Stay with me and hold on tight, because today I am going to help you ease or get rid of your fears completely. I am trusting that you are willing to open yourself up to a new perspective. Are you ready? Great!
Albert Einstein said that time is going to continue ticking at the same rate for you as it does for every other person on the surface of this planet. But time, he correctly predicted, is affected by gravity (general relativity) and speed (special relativity). The GPS satellites in orbit 22,000km over Earth experience less of Earth’s gravity than we do (being further from the center of Earth’s mass), and as a net result their clocks tick faster than ours by 38,000 nanoseconds per day. The onboard computers in each satellite compensate for this. If they did not, your position as seen by the satellites would be off by as much as 10km per day! Our cell phone navigation systems would be useless were it not for one individual’s insight and perspective.
So, other than living each day with proof of Einstein’s genius, what does this have to do with you? Because just like time, your experience of fear is both more complicated than you imagined, and thankfully, more controllable than you imagined, given the right knowledge.
We are going to do a little time traveling now. I want you to relax, take a few deep breaths, and think back to when you were a child. You are going to go back to your very first experience of fear. Now we may have all felt fear when we took our first breath, but since we can’t remember that moment, go ahead and travel forward a little bit in time. You are searching for a true memory of when you first recall experiencing fear. If you have a piece of paper handy, I’d like for you to write it down now before continuing with this exercise.
Since you are trusting me with a difficult and personal memory, I will share with you my first moment of true fear…
I am 5-years old, standing in the back seat of my parent’s car holding onto the headrest of the front passenger’s seat. My mother is in the seat in front of me and my father is in the driver’s seat. It is night, and we are parked in front of a hospital. I do not remember who walked up to the window and spoke the words that my grandfather had just died, but I remember what happened next. For the first time, my brain understood the meaning of the word "death". I screamed in terror as the concept of “forever gone” took hold of me in the darkness. Of course, my mother tried to explain that he was in heaven now, but I was overwhelmed by the fear that the people I loved would not be with me forever. There was an end to life, and I didn’t like it at all.
So, what is your first memory of fear? When you find it, I want you to put yourself in that moment just long enough to recognize it, and now I want you to float above yourself in space. I want you to move up high enough so that you are able to look down on yourself in that moment as an objective observer. You have left your emotion of fear and are above it now, observing as if you were a scientist taking notes about what you see down below. Now that you are outside of your emotion of fear, what can you learn from that moment as you look down on yourself? As an example, for me as I looked down on my moment, I learned that life is a cycle. There is birth and there is death, and this is the nature of all creation. I learned that there is value in life precisely because life is not limitless. I learned that love is precious because it can only be expressed for a finite number of moments. And thanks to my mother, I learned some of the meaning of hope and faith in something that is larger than myself. These are valuable lessons to learn, and although my 5-year old brain couldn’t understand the full depth of their meaning, it was a beginning. That moment helped me to construct the model of our existence so that I could begin to value time and love. That moment was important to me and to my future as a viable member of the human species. As I look down on that moment outside of the fear, without the emotions, it was an extraordinarily valuable moment for me.
What do you see as you look down on your first moment of fear? What knowledge did you gain and what value can you see from that experience now that you are outside and above your emotion of fear? Take a moment and write down what you learned from your observations.
From your new perspective hovering above yourself, do you find that your fear of that moment has lessened or disappeared? If so, you have successfully detached yourself from your fear, at least as experienced in that moment. If not, make some more observations until you are satisfied that you understand the intellectual lessons from that particular moment in your past. Once you are able to think of that moment without the fear you had previously associated with it, I want you to stay above that moment and face forward. I want you to visualize yourself moving forward through time and as you do, you are passing over all the moments you have experienced fear from the first moment until the present. You don’t have to recognize all your moments of fear as you pass overhead, your subconscious mind understands that you are now only an observer of knowledge rather than a collector of fear. As you slowly come back into the present, your general feelings of the emotion that you knew as fear should have lifted or subsided. If not, try this exercise a few more times and see if it brings you any relief from your attachment to the emotion of fear.
What you just experienced may be a new perspective for you. It is called “Time-Line Therapy”. It is just one example of how knowledge can be used to reduce or replace the emotions of fear.
Fear is a chemical reaction in our brains. It is your evolution telling you that there is something happening that you don’t want to happen again, because it threatens your future survival. It’s telling you to stop or to get out of the way of something and to avoid it at all cost. Fear is telling you to not take a risk. Its purpose is to steer you to safety. Some fear is good, just like some stress. Some fear allows you to survive by stopping you before you walk into a busy intersection without looking first for traffic. But much of your fear is based on a future that hasn’t happened yet and that does not threaten your survival. This type of fear is self-defeating. Allowing yourself to be controlled or hindered by fear of a future that hasn’t happened yet is irrational. Fear is a primal emotion that can’t understand when to turn off by itself. Fear needs your intellect to make it understand when it is serving a useful role, and when it may be holding you back.
You now have the knowledge and a practical exercise to be able to separate your rational self from the emotion of fear. It just takes a conscious effort to recognize your pattern of thought, and how you have allowed yourself to fall into the old habits of feeding the emotion of fear, even when it is not necessary for your survival. Make a new habit starting today to reduce your fear whenever possible. You now have the tool to do this. Allow knowledge to replace your irrational fears. Allow yourself the freedom to face your future with a new level of excitement and confidence. Live today with the conscious intention that you are capable of, and you will find that you are living each moment in time with more power and control. Don’t just take back control of your time… recognize and celebrate each moment where your focused energy and time collide for your success!
I hope you have received value from this bonus chapter of “Shiny Object Mastery”. If you haven’t purchased the book yet, you may do so by clicking here.
Remember, I believe in the best version of you. It’s time for you to believe it as well!Enjoy Your Time,
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